Mildred's Mess

Those funny scamsters

I stupidly downloaded the first chapter of a hilarious book in progress and let in something that sends us several Nigerian scam emails a day. Hopefully they aren't giving us viruses, and of course I won't click on any of the attachments. They have lots of versions of it, lots of fake names. They're all preposterous. My favorite fake name is Miss Kelly Meow. She's a lady in Hong Kong who wants me to help her steal $60,000,000.00. Awesome, isn't it? Just send us your bank account information and we'll transfer you the money immediately! Who could pass that up? 

The one I'm sharing this morning is a story about a religious old woman on her death bed. It's ridiculous, utterly wicked, badly spelled, and wrong in every way. But it reminds me of my soft hearted grandmother who would give money to Christian charities, real and imaginary. I miss her so much. 

From: "Mrs. Juliana Rothman" <[email protected]>
Date: September 11, 2014, 6:58:52 PM PDT
To: undisclosed-recipients: ;
Subject: RE: HELP TO DO GOD'S WORK.

Dear Brethen,

As you pray for me , I am sending Greetings to you in the wonderful name of our Lord Jesus! May the Lord's favor and peace be multiplied onto you, to God be they glory My name is Mrs. JULIANA ROTHMAN. I know that I don't know you but I have been directed to do this, as your may be filled with reservation, curiosity, skepticism doubts, asking why i have decided to offer this to you I am 69 years old dying woman and was diagnosed for cancer about 2 years ago, immediately after the death of my husband, who had left me everything he worked for. While my late husband {MR CHUKS ROTHMAN} was from London who held different positions in the Top OIL Company in Kuwait before his death.

I have been touched By God during a prayer and fasting session for the Great Lord to heal me of my ailments. I was touched and directed by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late Husband for the good work of God, rather than to be used for an ungodly PURPOSE.

After much prayer today. searching through your linkedin I have asked God Almighty to direct me to a honest AND TRUSTHWORTHY person that will use this Fund righteously to reach the needy BECAUSE I have USED a contact from new Zealand LAST MONTH TO FULFILL THIS DREAM, but THEY disappeared with SOME OF the FUND. For the word of God says, "what shall it profit a man TO gains the whole world, and loss his soul". I have decided to WILL/donate the sum of $1,000.000.00USD (ONE million dollars) to you AS TO use FOR the
good work of the lord, HELP motherless , less privileged and the widows according to (JAMES 1:27)

You contact the Foriegn Remittance Director DR. THOMAS MOORE through his contact below Email.

Mr. George .E. Danford
Thomas Moore Private Bank
REMITTANCE DIRECTOR FOREIGN PAYMENT DEPT
EMAIL: [email protected]

Please remember to include the following information bellow when contacting him:

FULL NAME:
ADDRESS:
TELEPHONE NUMBER:
EMAIL ADDRESS:
BUSINESS NAME/TYPE:
AGE /MARITAL STATUS:
AMOUNT EXPECTED:
CURRENCY TYPE:

I have notified them that I am WILLING that amount to you for a specific good work of thy Lord and this fund is placed with an insurance policy cover and a certificate of fund Merit from the high court of justice which THE BANK IS AWARE AND HAS THE COPIES I AM USING this little strength of mine to write you from my hospital bed as At the moment I am indisposed due to my health condition and may be going inn for operation soonest, let me remind you that this transaction is 100%risk free of any probe as all the necessary arrangement has been put in place and YOU ARE TO TAKE OUT 20% OF THIS TOTAL FUND FOR YOUR SELF,

NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I do not want any media publication or exposure or anything that will jeopardize my last wish and Please keep FAITH THAT is My Prayer for you. Father, I ask you to bless my friends, relatives and those I care deeply for, Prayer: In Jesus'
precious name. Amen.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this mail

MRS. JULIANA ROTHMAN

Thinking about things

I didn't like the way my latest post was so mean spirited. I was surprised to see that man watering the neighbors mostly dead lawn. His face told me a story. Later I was thinking what a heavy load that kind of daily hate is. Heavy to always be mad at a neighbor.  Painful because you're beating your head against a wall wanting them to change when they aren't going to. Then if they start to hate you back you get a doubly heavy load. It's bad because you can't get away from your self and your idea of what you think is supposed to be real. 

I'm not talking about the kind of trouble people have living next to criminals or wife beaters, same thing. I'm thinking about people who hate for little nitpicking poop. There's no way the world is going to live up to our standards, we need to recognize what's real and deal with it. 

 

Old Grouch

Mildred was driving to work one morning and saw a crabby old man. He'd dragged a chair out into his front yard, pulled the hose out as far as it would go, and was sitting there spraying water on the lawn. Sensible to sit if you can't stand she thought, thinking he looked very comfortable. As she drove past she saw that he was spraying water on his neighbor's lawn, not his own. The neighbor's lawn wasn't doing that well.

A whole story opened up in her imagination about a resentful man griping about his slob neighbors who are dragging down property values by not keeping their lawn green. Year after year after year, making himself miserable. I thought we were having a drought, Mildred thought and drove on.

Sent from my iPod

Summer bug

I was going to do something else to this embroidery, but this little beetle is sitting on it. He matches it perfectly, so he can stay. My husband swears that they come right back in the house as soon as we put them outside. "There it is again, the exact same bug!" I don't know how he can tell. Can you have face recognition with something so small? This one seems harmless enough. They come in to fly around the lamps.

Then I remembered the giant water bug that dove into the dish towel drawer a couple of weeks ago. It got away, but might be lurking somewhere, watching us and making Plans. I tried to get Mimi to notice it while it was running around, but she put her nose to the back door and waited to be let out. For those that don't know them by that name they're huge flying cockroaches. They're dark brown and fast. They make strong men scream like little girls. I'm convinced they come from Florida, breeding ground of all kinds of horrors.

Someone said that these bugs come in by accident and can't find a way out again. They aren't here out of malice. But if I find out that water bug had babies I'm going to move away.

PS The plaid was was woven with two strands of embroidery thread strung back and forth in a square cut in a piece of bleached muslin. The stitching is going to continue as soon as I decide how it should go. Thanks to Jude Hill and her stories about weaving.

Sent from my iPod

Saturday breakfast

Sent from my iPod

Closet space

Mildred wished someone would hurry up and invent an inter dimensional closet. Open the door to somewhere else, and you'd have infinite space to store your junk. She could imagine people would start filling those other dimensions up quickly, especially Americans who have too many things and never throw anything away. Maybe you could punch in a number or turn a dial to find new ones, like tuning to radio stations.

Every once in a while someone would open a door to a dimension that people couldn't go into. Like maybe a one dimensional closet where they would be turned into a line and never seen again. A two dimensional closet would be perfect for storing paper, or pressing your slacks. Of course it would be hard to get things out once you put them in.

People would hide in them to avoid police, unpleasant relatives, or members of religious sects that go door to door. Maybe they would start exploring and never come out again. People could start colonies among the shoe racks and piles of old furniture and obsolete television sets. Think of the flea markets they could have, and they wouldn't have to load it all up and drive it anywhere.

The possibilities are interesting, thought Mildred. She wished she had one that went straight to her house from her office so she wouldn't have to deal with Friday traffic.

Sent from my iPod

debbie lyddon

Here's another woman who is deeply involved with her environment.

http://debbielyddon.wordpress.com/

Her ocean is different from Grace's desert, but both are inspired by their surroundings. Grace uses those nice dirt browns. This woman uses ocean grays and blues. It looks different, but their involvement is so similar. I was thinking about them both earlier this week, and the question my friend Kim asked, "What color is your town?"

Sent from my iPod

Nature in a city

I've been enjoying my friend Grace's blog Windthread. She lives in rural New Mexico and is completely involved with the place she lives in. It's so much fun to see all the plants and rocks and colors in detail, and hear about the wind and the rain and heat. I envy her life in a place where there's so much nature, wild and free.

Here in the city nature comes in bits and patches. We have some wild animals, but nature here contains lots and lots of humans, domesticated pets, domesticated plants in people's yards, and pavement along with the dirt. I read what Grace says about permaculture and get so excited and interested. How can I do this here? Then I look at the tiny yard, and think about our lack of rain and water and the neighbors, and don't know where to take it or if I can do it at all.

There are a lot pleasures here this time of year. We were going out to eat last night and saw this fireman riding high and happy on top of the truck. It was a beautiful evening and he was obviously enjoying it.  Surely firemen are part of nature.

 

 

The jacarandas are blooming now, making purple clouds here and there. They smell fantastic and leave a carpet of purple on the ground. Owners complain about the clean up, but if I had a tree like that I'd leave it. It's part of the happiness of the season.

 

 

The weather has been perfect early summer in L.A. Warm, but not too hot yet. Everything is burgeoning everywhere. All the plant growth hits a fever pitch this time of year, and things grow so quickly they almost hum with the energy in them. The birds are busy and loud, the crows are extra sarcastic. The cats stay out all night carousing. It's one of the best times of year.

Here's a good site about permaculture. Permaculture Principles. Check it out. If you have enough dirt, try it out. 

Jury duty adventure

It sounds more exciting than it was. Getting up at 5:30 to be in LA at 7:45 is no fun at all. I do park and ride to avoid getting trapped going around and around in circles on downtown L.A.'s one way streets. The express busses zoom past the stopped traffic on the freeway. The people watching is good too. 

It's still really stressful. I always have to look up busses and schedules. Then I have to actually catch one and then get off on the right spot. Security in courtrooms has become something else too. I was sent back three times before they let me in. The scanner always beeps at my fake hip and that makes more stress. 

They gave out free coffee, bottled water and doughnuts in the jury room. There were some interesting people to look at. I loved the young man wearing a horrible attitude, a hangover and a black t shirt with a skull marked with stars and stripes. He was ready to do his civic duty. Compared to him I almost felt perky.

They called the whole roomfull of people to one courtroom. We walked in and there were thirteen people sitting on one side of the room. Thirteen lawyers, I thought. About as lucky as thirteen vultures. There were four people on the other side of the room looking out numbered. It was obvious that this trial was about something serious. It turns out that six of the lawyers were police officers, and that they're in serious trouble. I don't want to say anything else about it in public. The justice system will sort it out, and their karma will make their sentence stick. 

It turned out to be a month long trial and my employers pay for ten days so they let me go. I came home on the bus and fell down on the bed and slept hard for an hour. 

And that's the story of my jury duty adventure. 

Sent from Samsung tablet

Mole in the ground

I love this song. I sing it to the lizards I see in the spring.

 

 

Of course I didn't find my favorite version until I'd posted the first one.

 

It's my evil ambition to give you all an ear worm, or maybe teach you a new song.